When you called me
Your life
I felt most lively
On this earth
When you said
I was only yours
I felt my little entity
To be most precious
But, then something
Went unrelenting
The day you called me
Nothing in your life
I lost my existence
And was standing nowhere
And was standing nowhere
Felt almost breathless
And was deprived of air
I incurred so many fears
And cried all night
And cried all night
I secluded myself
And was feeling alone
That day this talkative
That day this talkative
Become the most tacit one
You know, that day onwards
What happened ?
I was left only as a
Jest for situations
And my Fate laughs on
My crippleness.
This is so sad and melancholy ~ I like these lines:
ReplyDeleteAnd my Fate laughs on
My crippleness.
very deep poetry ~ namaste, carol
ReplyDeletedef a palpable feeling that loneliness...after being his all then nothing...it hurts and i feel that in your words...
ReplyDeleteThis is full of the pain of rejection...it is felt in each word
ReplyDeleteRuchi ma'an you penned down the emotion very nicely....it happens in love most often...BTW how long you
ReplyDeletehave been writing poetry..?
It's a beautifully written poem and after this line
ReplyDelete"That day this talkative" your words are talking....
Great one Ruchi...:)
Sad and sweet and vulnerable....You have me thinking how important it is to stand alone.....
ReplyDeleteसफ़र करो ऐसे
ReplyDeleteजैसे उड़ता हुआ परिन्दा
I love poems where birds are used to convey msg..
Mithlash ,, the poem is so optimistic and drives us forward...
keep writing,,
Ruchi ma'am dekha maine dhoondh hi liya apka comment....Thank you so much for your lovely comment:)
Lovely words Ruchi!Your poetry talks for you,Ruchi:)
ReplyDeleteI've had this happen to me when I was young...you described that feeling of breathlessness so well...like someone punched you in the stomach. You portray the shock and sadness so well.
ReplyDeleteMy fate laughs on my crippleness...nailed it!
ReplyDeleteThat is a heart touching rendition. You certainly are talented as far as poetry is concerned :)
ReplyDeleteHowever, I would want to point something out. I have had quite a few relations myself and having been into all that, I know something about being in love. Infact, I will tell you what it is NOT. It is not losing yourself for your counterpart but finding your true potential and realising it. You are,and you will, remain and individual. There is nothing as joint existence. Think over it :)
haunting!!
ReplyDeletehttp://sushmita-smile.blogspot.in/
Touching words. Last two lines are very profound.
ReplyDeletethis poem touched my heart Ruchi
ReplyDeletepoignant. the feeling of being left or alone is
ReplyDeletehard to deal with, you wrote a beautiful poem
to calm yourself.
beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteJust Beautiful, every word speaks for itself....:)
ReplyDelete